"Mommy, are you ok?" asks her daughter. Mom lies, "I fine, honey." Do you try to mask your feelings from your children? Your spouse? We often hide our feelings because we want to protect our children. Or to protect ourselves by not letting anyone get to close to discover who we really are. One of our deepest needs is to be known. To have "your person" who "gets" you is comforting and keeps us from feeling lonely in the world. It is hard to experience connection and deep bonds when everyone in the household walks around with masks on. Our children learn what it means to be transparent from us. Transparency is a life skill and most easily learned from modeling. Children whose parents mask t
Saying "no" to your child can be difficult. Sometimes we end up feeling like a broken record that says "no" all the time. Sometimes our kids just wear us down. Yet saying "no" is a necessary ingredient to help children grow and to be able to say "no" to sex, drugs and other dubious things we want our children to refuse when we are not present. Here are 19 variations of saying "no" to add to your parenting repertoire. For younger children: 1. Give them an alternative. "Walls are not for coloring. Here is a piece of paper." 2. Tell them what to do instead i.e., "Water needs to stay in the tub." 3. Use distraction. 4. For a youngster who has something you don't want her to have said, "That
What happens when we don't connect with our children on a regular basis? I have found that kids misbehave more often, they have lower self-esteem and tension builds up in the family. My personal symptom of being disconnected is there is less joy in my life. Here are five simple ways to connect. In fact, they are so simple that we may not realize the full impact they have on us and our children. Touch frequently. Touching eases pain, lessens anxiety, softens the blows of life, generates hope and has the power to heal. Hold hands, give foot and back rubs, and snuggle. Have your face light up when you see them. I have watched parents pick their children up from school while they were on their
