Setting Limits, Part I

Having Difficulty Setting Limits?

This four part series is a roadmap for you to feel confident with your boundaries so that you can experience more peace and joy with your children.

This is a hot topic for most parents because kids test our limits. It can be confounding… how could my little angel hit me, spit at me, throw things or tell me I am a bad mommy.

Pushing limits is their job! Kids push boundaries because they're in the process of separating and attempting to assert their authority. "Me do it!" or "No! Mine!” become their favorite phrases.

Not having clear limits can really hold you back from feeling good about being a parent

and enjoying your child.

Your first step to creating healthy limits is to acknowledge that you need them. We are often operating in survival and make little time to self-reflect and tune in to what we need. We have checked out to protect ourselves from all the chaos and may be simply going through the motions of parenting. Just to getting through the day can be an ordeal.

Or perhaps you have thought, "That's it! I have had it! Enough is enough!" THEN.....

Let this be your defining moment...

(Defining Moment: a point in your life when you're urged to make a pivotal decision that fundamentally changes you. These moments have a transformative effect on we interact with our families.)

Decide right now that you are going to do what it takes to hone your skills at defining and implementing clear limits.

How do you know when you need to set limits? You know if you frequently feel:

Exhausted
Taken advantage of
Stressed
Trapped
Overwhelmed
Stuck
Not solid and secure in your boundaries
Disrespected
Taken for granted
Not supported
Victim

Do any of these feel familiar? If yes, now is the time to make a change in the way you parent.

What is a boundary and what is it not?

• It is not about making someone else do or not do something.

• It is about you taking care of your needs and wants.

• It is not about making someone feel bad, or using punishment, anger, blame or rewards to get them to do what you want.

• It is about being clear and concise in your communication and following through with what you have told them you will do.

In order to embody setting healthy and effective limits, you will need to practice…Not just read or hear about the concept. In this 4 part series, we will give an assignment that is short and easy to practice to support you in your process.

Your first assignment is to reflect on how you are feeling. Take some deep breaths and ask yourself, "What am I feeling right now?" Acknowledge if you do need help in this area of your life if you do. This does not mean you are a bad parent. It just means you need more tools.

For a deeper dive into setting limits, check out our course here.

This Topic REALLY Resonated With Me...Now What?

Enroll in our transformative online "Setting Limits and Making them Stick!" course.

In this course, you will learn:

How to get clear about your limit(s).
4 simple steps to set limits.
Helpful tips on how to effectively follow through without nagging, threatening, or bribing.
How to effectively respond when they use emotional blackmail.
9 pitfalls to avoid when setting limits.