Do you cave after setting a limit?
Have you ever made a plan and promised yourself you were going to stick to the limits you set and then you caved? Boy do I know what that feels like!
Sometimes we cave because:
we're too tired.
we've set the limit out of anger and made it too harsh. I once heard a mom threaten, "If you don't get out of that pool right now, I will never take you swimming again!"
we want our children to like us.
we don't like conflict.
we're compensating for our spouse. (One parent is too firm and the other parent is too kind.)
we feel clueless when it comes to setting limits.
It is important to find out why we cave so we can change our pattern and get the results we want. For example, if you discover that you tend to cave at bedtime because you are too tired, try to take a 10 minute mediation break before bedtime or take turns with your spouse.
If you are having trouble sticking to your limit, reflect on why so that you can break this pattern.
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